Jen's Jumbled Thoughts and Feelings

[Jennifer]

I know I only get on this thread and post when things bother me. This has been a sucky week. Just a lot of things going on. I was talking to one of the guys today at work and found out a couple things that made me feel kinda sad. First off, when I went to the zoo that made my BIL angry. He mentioned to himself that I could just go someplace else (to work). Of course, he just sent me a nasty e-mail and never talked to me about it.

Also, the guy I talked to wouldn't tell me who (but I have an idea), told me when he started working here this person made it sound like I was slow. I am not slow and I am not stupid, either. Just because I don't chose to say anything when somebody make subtle insults doesn't mean I don't know they made them (towards me). I just don't understand why people are this way. Heck, they seem to "love" and respect my dad and my sister. Obviously that doesn't extend to me. The whole thing is just making me sad today. I shouldn't let it get to me but some days it does.

[Deanna]

The whole thing is just making me sad today. I shouldn't let it get to me but some days it does.

Everybody handles things in their own way. I for one, would NEVER let anything like that be said without addressing it with your BIL. As your boss, it is distasteful and unprofessional of him to comment to other employees about you taking a day off (be it for the zoo or a doc appointment or to sit on your butt at home).

If not discussing it is the most comfortable way to handle it then vent away here. We are all here to listen.

[Annabellz]

I'm with Deanna... your bil is behaving in a very unprofessional way for sure... in fact I think it's unethical to do that. Serious stuff!

[Jennifer]

Thanks ladies! I was thinking that was unprofessional and he should only talk to me about it. But instead everybody here that day knew what was going on. My BIL does that, sends me an e-mail or has my sister say something to me. I just don't get why he thinks I am such an unimportant person in this business. Nobody wants to be treated like that. Respect can go a long way.

[mallow]

I agree that BIL is being unprofessional. Sucks that you have to put up with that.



Becky

[Jennifer]

This has to do with my extended family. My dad has 2 brothers and 3 sisters. They have been estranged for over a year (3 against 3). It started with just wanting my grandmother to see a doctor. My grandpa is just plain mean and wouldn't let her. So 3 of the kids thought grandpa was right and the other 3 didn't. Now it is all about past hurts and resentments.

My grandmother passed away last week. I don't think my grandpa is as sad as some people say he is. You just have to know him. I made that comment and the uncle I work with overheard me and chewed me out ( I was on the phone with one of my BILs, he was asking about vistation times and such). I did stand my ground. But then he started talking about things that didn't apply to what I said. He left and I burst into tears. Decided I had to leave, too. So I left and went and told my dad what happened. I didn't want him to hear it from somebody else because all the employees heard it (not to mention a couple of customers). I did find out that my uncle felt bad after that and tried to find me. He did meet me outside the funeral home the next day and hugged me and apologized. He is the type of guy that holds everything in and then just explodes. I was convenient that day and was very hurt.

I was relieved when that was resolved. Yesterday one of my aunts calls me at work and wants some answers. My uncle told her about the explosion he had the other day. She started asking me questions about stuff. I think I passed her "test." I think she was trying to convince me to come over to their side (my dad is on the other side). She kept telling me it was my other aunt's fault and she had been lying the whole time. I did finally tell her I didn't want get involved. I hope she listened to me. It really irritates me that she called me at work first thing in the morning. I am just glad this whole thing is over with. I feel like I have been chewed up and spit out.

I hope it all made sense.

[Annabellz]

My condolensces on the loss of your grandmother. Your grandfather sounds as if he's suffering from some serious issues. That makes it hard to cope since it sounds like you lost your grandmother awhile ago due to his attitude and actions. Double loss.

It's hard. I've done that too Jen. I realize that sometimes I need to pick a better place to talk to others so "ears" are not around. Families can be fools. My husband's family has issues as one of my husbands brother's went bezerk after their dad died. Actually I think he was losing his grip even before that time and it just came out. But it surprised all of us because suddenly this "nice" quiet guy turned into a real mean and vengeful guy who used alot of things against his siblings. He was the executor of all things. (I try to convince my mom to change her will so no one in our family is the executor but she is as convinced as my husband's father that nothing can go wrong) Anyhow it underscores the sensitivities and the illusions within families. Your line that you will not get involved is the best way to go... don't take sides if you can help it.


Anne